Hitler Goes to Heaven by David Copelin
Scene One: In Berlin, 1945, dimwitted blonde Eva Braun cleans the bunker. Her husband-of-a-day, Adolf Hitler, comes in; they are preparing to commit suicide. Eva suggests a final lovemaking session. Adolf wants his dog Blondi (a standard poodle on wheels) included, but Eva says no, not this time. While Blondi watches, the Hitlers' offstage union is quick Then Adolf forces Eva to take poison. She dies. Adolf can't bring himself to shoot Blondi, so he goes offstage and shoots himself. Blondi rolls off, and we hear him lapping up Adolf's blood.
Scene Two: Heaven. Adolf is surprised to find that there is such a place, and even more that his old friend Ilse Koch, She-Wolf of the S.S. and the Bitch of Buchenwald, is the gatekeeper. Ilse wants Adolf, but he's looking for Eva. Ilse tells him that Eva, who she despises as a ninny, is with God. God likes dumb blond gentile women! Heaven is full of Jews, six million of whom are there thanks to Adolf. Adolf demands to see God immediately. From offstage, God tells Adolf that he's stuck in heaven for eternity - with millions of Jews! Adolf demands to go to hell, but there's no such place. He's stuck. As klezmer music plays, Adolf goes insane.
Keywords: one-act, comedy, dark, wartime, farce, two-hander
Running TIme: 12 minutes
Male Cast: 1
Female Cast: 2